Posted by: cghearn | 07/13/2014 | 12:27 pm
How Do I Live A Life Of Chastity?
Most people would think that Chastity is to abstain entirely from sexual relations and therefore the only ones who are truly chaste are Catholic priests and Nuns. But Chastity is actually defined as: Abstaining from sexual conduct according to one’s state in life. That means that according to whatever state your in is how Chastity will be defined for you. That means if you’re married, then certain things apply to you and that if you’re single, certain things apply to you also. Of course, if we’re going to have a proper understanding of Chastity, then we must know what the opposite end of the spectrum also means. Lust is defined as, “uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite.” SO IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO COMMIT LUST EVEN WHEN HE’S MARRIED? Yes it is because if he were to force himself on his wife, he’s showing a lack of sexual control.
” There is serious problem within the church today in a manner of thinking that if somehow, if you’re having issues with lust that all you have to do is get married and the problem will go away.
Illustration: Rust on a piece of metal doesn’t just go away if you paint over it, you have to cut the piece of metal off or like cancer it eats away at the whole.
If you’re addicted to pornography now, getting married doesn’t fix being addicted to pornography; it simply introduces another person into the equation who will be crushed by your inability to control yourself. God did not create marriage just for humans to be able to have sex. In Genesis, the reason God created woman for man was because “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Marriage was meant for those who are lonely.
” The thought that “Sex isn’t a big deal” that is so prevalent in the church today has caused many to fall into sexual sin known as “Lust.” I define lust as “desiring or having sex with someone either outside the bounds of the covenant of marriage or without mutual consent between both parties within marriage.”
CAN A MARRIED WOMAN BE RAPED BY HER HUSBAND? Yes, because if she has not consented than the husband is not loving his wife as Scripture says he should, he is putting his needs above that of his wife and therefore, sins and commits lust. Marriage itself is a covenant between two people whereby both parties agree to live for one another under the Lordship of Christ.
Doctrine of sermon: If you want to be chaste, either stay single and celibate or married and monogamous.
I. How do I live a life of chastity?: If you cannot control yourself, you should get married
“Paul first addresses here, the married and therefore, so will I. He tells us that if we’re unable to control ourselves (that is having sex with others) then we should get married. However, that doesn’t mean we settle for anyone that comes along.
Illustration: Adam was in the garden and he was lonely. God came along and offered Adam a wife. Adam asked what she would be like and God answered, “She will always be loving and tender, she will always be first to admit that she was wrong whenever you argue, she will always allow you to do whatever you want with your time, and she’ll always be ready to make love with you.”
Adam asked, “How much will a wife like that cost me?”
God answered, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam then asked, “What can you give me for a rib?”
Marriage, while a wonderful blessing from God, has some pretty high cost to it at times. By the way, this includes continuing to stay married when you don’t want to, perform your duties as a spouse when you don’t feel like it, and loving your spouse like Christ when you feel like they’re your worst enemy. I’ve often heard it said that if you want to live like Christ, stay single. If you want to BE like Christ, get married.
” We also need to acknowledge that Scripture has some things to say about marriage that are meant to both protect us and lead us. One is very important and needs to be read aloud in front of everyone.
–Turn to 2 Corinthians 6:14-16A
–Before we enter into the covenant of marriage, we need to examine the person’s faith.
Illustration: I know one couple that got married and both confessed to be believers. However, later on in the marriage the husband became an avowed atheist. It has caused trouble with their children, it causes trouble in their personal life, and even has caused them to have almost different lives.
Redemption: The only way to overcome a nature of greed is to become charitable, rather than taking away, begin giving
II. How do I live a life of chastity?: If you are married, you need to be having sex
“WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT BEING CHASTE, IF YOU’RE MARRIED INVOLVED HAVING SEX? I love how Paul says here, “Do not deprive one another except that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” WHY DO YOU THINK THEY’RE PRAYING?
Illustration: Husband or wife praying, “God, I really don’t want to have sex with them right now because I’m really mad at them.”
Let me address this passage directly because it has been abused throughout the history of the church by husbands trying to force their wives into having sex. When Paul says, ” For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.” Most men who would desire to manipulate their wives would stop reading there, but then it says, “Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
Illustration: Imagine that a husband comes to his wife being ready for his conjugal rights and tells the wife, “I have authority over your body and therefore I want your body to give me sex.” Then the wife responds in kind, “I have authority over your body and therefore I want your body to keep it’s distance.” “Men, you’ve always desired to fully control your body, but now that you’re married you don’t have to think about it anymore because your wife does! Remember, if one party forces themselves onto another, it is still lust regardless of whether they’re married or not. That’s why sexuality is meant to be a mutual agreement between a husband and wife only. This is God’s design for sex.
Redemption: If you truly desire to be married, be prepared to make the necessary sacrifices, however there are also those in the church who don’t have this desireﾅ
III. How do I live a life of chastity?: If you have the ability to stay single without sex, stay single and celibate
“Regardless of what you’ve heard from the Da Vinci Code, Jesus, according to the gospels, was single and a virgin. Also Paul, according to the accounts given from Scripture was celibate and single. It’s a good thing too, because Paul went through a lot! However, not all the apostles were as Paul was. In fact, the apostle Peter we know from Scripture was a married man. So marriage isn’t a sin as some of the Corinthians were saying it was. However Paul was stating that if a person could commit themselves entirely to Christ and the gospel to do so. Paul even goes so far as to consider the ability to abstain from marriage and sex as a gift from God.
Illustration: Some of you wives out there are elbowing your husbands and letting him know that you’re his gift from God and that he’d better not forget it!
“To some, God gave the gift of celibacy in order that they may be completely available without distractions of any kind. For others (myself included) God has provided us with the gift of marriage in order that we might not fall into temptation and sin. I, however, would also encourage that those of you who are single to see if you can remain single and live simply for Christ and his purposes.
Illustration: My wife and I often joke that if she were to pass away for some reason that I would bring a date to her funeral. But it’s because of my wife and how great marriage is that I would want to get married again. But if God had given me the gift to remain single, I would definitely have remained single rather than have my family be dragged through all the torment, both emotional and financial that comes with being in ministry.
Redemption: Both marriage and celibacy are gifts from God; all else is a twisting of God’s intended purpose for men and women.
Doctrine of sermon: If you want to be chaste, either be single and celibate or married and monogamous.
Application: If you’re not married and you’re in this room, don’t have sex with anyone. If you’re married and you’re in this room today, have sex with your spouse as much as possible. If you’re thinking about getting married to someone, ensure before you take the vows that they truly believe in Christ. If they don’t, stop thinking about marrying them. I think I’ve beaten this horse to death.
Illustration: There is a list that has been compiled, however that gives different things that you can do with a dead horse rather than just bury it and let it be:
1) Buy a stronger whip for the dead horse.
2) Change riders out on the dead horse.
3) Convince ourselves that the dead horse has always been lazy.
4) Have a committee study the dead horse.
5) Visit other sites to see how they ride a dead horse.
6) Increase standards for how to ride a dead horse.
7) Hire a team to revive the dead horse.
8) Compare states of other dead horses.
9) Link dead horse to other dead horses to improve their performance.
10) Raise money to help the dead horse.
11) Hire committee to see if a dead horse can be ridden cheaper.
12) Buy product to make the dead horse run faster.
13) Declare that the horse is cheaper and better if it’s dead.
14) Rewrite requirements for the dead horse to legally make it alive.
15) Set up advertisements to see if you can convince others that the horse isn’t dead.
A. Listen to the Word of God today. Do not attempt to manipulate it, go over it, around it, reinterpret it to mean something that it doesn’t and don’t ignore it. Just listen to what it says and walk humbly with God.
B. Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7:27-29